1. |
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i wake up.
drop off the demons at daycare
by having me a drink so life don’t feel so unfair
swat the wasp
of anxiety buzzing around my skin
i hear it in my ears but it don’t stick the stinger in.
then i spend a little time in my personal detention
when i fuck up & betray all my goddamn good intentions.
spend a little time getting to know myself
& i realize that i’m living in a self inflicted hell.
don’t have answers
all i have are excuses
but i wear fear like a scar & all my regrets like bruises
& the truth is
i really just want to go home
& the truth is sooner or later, i’ll end up on my own.
when i’ll spend a little time in my personal detention
cause i fucked up & betrayed all my goddamn good intentions
spend a little time getting to know myself &
i realize that i’m living in a self inflicted hell.
fuck you, for everything in your past.
you can grow & change but you can never take back
fuck you, never learned to cut loose.
i’m at the end of my rope so tie it into a noose.
cause i’ve spent a little time in my personal detention.
& let me tell you it don’t look a goddamn thing like heaven
i’ve spent too much time getting to know myself
& i know now that i’m living in a self inflicted hell.
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2. |
Brainwashed
02:41
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been told i got a dirty mind,
laden with awful sin
sex & drugs, hell knows what else
but it’s filled to the brim.
in attempt to clean it up,
i refrain & i abstain
but i’m on the cusp of blowing up
there’s filth that fills my brain.
so i wanna be brainwashed,
give up the fight.
wanna drink so much that i forget i’m still alive.
forget you.
forget my name too.
if it means that i’ll feel alright
i just wanna be brainwashed tonight
i wonder how i conjure up my dreams so dark & grim
it’s just those pesky demons
they consume me from within.
i’ve gone to church, i’ve studied hard
but it seems there’s no escape
my wants simply outweigh my needs
there’s filth that fills my brain.
so i wanna be brainwashed,
give up the fight.
wanna drink so much that i forget i’m still alive.
forget you.
forget my name too.
if it means that i’ll feel alright
i just wanna be brainwashed tonight
really scrub it good
clean it like i know you can cause mama taught you good
there’s no more fight
there’s no more flight
just throw all of that away
& let’s get
brainwashed
so let’s get brainwashed tonight
give up the fight
let’s all drink so much that we forget we’re still alive.
forget you.
forget my name too.
if it means that we’ll feel alright
we should all just get brainwashed tonight
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3. |
Cops Drive Fords
03:09
|
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|
so this one time i was driving to class
& this guy was riding up my ass
should i breakcheck him or play it cool?
well i was a little stoned,
so i let it go
but when i saw that blue emblem
i shoulda known.
cops drive fords.
i’ve seen them in chevys yeah
& they still drive crown vics
& everybody knows that motorcycle cops are dicks.
but across the board,
you can usually be sure
cops drive fords.
so he pulled me over,
there i sat on the shoulder
just tryna sneak some drops into my eyes
he said “you’re going way too slow,
& that’s some stinky smoke”
but cottonmouth betrayed me when i tried to tell him “no”
so now i’m sitting in the backseat of a ford.
i’ve seen them in chevys yeah
& they still drive crown vics
& everybody knows that motorcycle cops are dicks.
but across the board,
you can usually be sure
cops drive fords.
there’s a moral to this tale.
listen here & listen well
to my fellow stoners,
my story i will tell.
if it’s the end of the month,
& you’re driving with a blunt...
don’t. cause cops drive fords
ive seen them in chevys yeah
& they still drive crown vics
& everybody knows that cops are full of shit.
but across the board,
you can usually be sure
cops drive fords.
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4. |
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My tits are fucking dangerous, better watch out
Slip a nip and someone dies, there ain't no doubt
But if you wanna call me a tranny, that's just fine
Just don't go comparing men to swine.
Why don't you
Ban this, motherfucker?
Ban this, motherfucker!
Ban this, motherfucker!
Motherfuckerberg
Men are fucking trash, whatcha gonna do?
If you're taking full offense, this one's for you
They wanna shut us up, but Nazis get free speech
What kind of lesson are you fuck heads trying to teach?
You're bastards. You're bastards.
You fucking hypocrites
You pigs are full of shit
Can't even find the clit
Zuck on my fucking dick.
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5. |
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There's a message in my phone and I don't want to open it
Got drunk last night and let a little too much slip
Why does everybody gotta be a future prospect?
I'm treating validation like a cure
A way to fix what I can't fix
I'm gonna be broken forever
It's who I am
I'm a toxic piece of shit that I can't stand
Will I ever be anything other than white trash beautiful?
Just don't let them bury me as a man
I'm back up to my stupid shit again
It's all laid out so clear
But I'm falling right back in
How many times do I have to do this?
To believe you could love my body
For the fucked up shape it is?
Is there a pattern that I don't know?
Is it something deep within?
Am I worth saving?
Because I don't feel it
My worth is just the fingers on my skin
I'm gonna fuck you over, it's who I am
I'm a fucked up, jaded cunt that I can't stand
I won't ever be anything, not even White Trash Beautiful
Just don't let them bury me as a man
I'm a fucking mess, but I know who I am.
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6. |
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Dear Daddy, one day you're gonna die
And I don't know what it means to me yet, but I know I'll cry.
Dear Mama, wish I could hug you one more time
And thank you for all the ways you helped me shine
Dear family, I never asked to be alive
And I'm sorry I can't be there to say goodbye
Dear lover, you gave me more than was ever fair
You deserve to be loved by someone who's there
I like the edge of the world, it's all I ever knew
One foot down in the grave, the other with you
Thought I had to use to be creative,
But the reaper says it isn't true
But my friends are all fucked up, so I guess I'll fuck up, too.
Dear guitar, we had one hell of a run
And I'm sorry I beat you up just for fun
You could have been pretty
You could have been some kind of beauty
But I broke you and cut you and made you as ugly as me
Dear listener, tell me why you shed your tears
I've been given too many chances through the years
Dear mother, what is there left to say?
I've given up, my cup is empty
The dusk of the day.
I like the edge of the world, it's all I ever knew
One foot down in the grave, the other with you
Thought I had to use to be creative,
But the reaper says it isn't true
But my friends are all fucked up, so I guess I'll fuck up, too.
Dear friends, I'm not long for this town
Or any town that isn't burned to the ground
Dear long lost, wish we could have had our time
So I could be one more disappointment in your life
Dear dead friends, tell me if it's gonna hurt
Tell me if staying alive is gonna be worse
Dear Reaper, I don't pretend I can outrun you
But when you take me, make it quick,
Because I'm overdue.
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7. |
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Hey baby, I don't want a "maybe"
I want it all or none
I know it ain't your fault if you don't want it all
But my heart ain't just for fun
Hey baby, I don't want a maybe
I want some honesty
And if you just tell me that I ain't what you need
Then we can both smile and leave.
Well I've been wondering what you've been thinking,
So thanks for clearing that up for me
You know, I've had my doubts for awhile now
Because all we ever did was fuck and smoke weed
All your getaway tactics and your roundabout answers
Don't hide a damn thing from me
And the truth is a hard friend to have sometimes,
But she'll bail you out of make believe
Let the pain set you free.
Here's what she sang to me:
Hey baby, I don't want a "maybe"
I want it all or none
I know it ain't your fault if you don't want it all
But my heart ain't just for fun
Hey baby, I don't want a maybe
I want some honesty
And if you just tell me that I ain't what you need
Then we can both smile and leave.
You said you wished that you could be what I wanted
Well, all I ever really wanted was you
But you can't force somebody to hold your heart,
No matter how much you want them to
This is the last song I'll write for you, darling
I've run out of all my cool to fake
But I don't regret a moment of loving you,
Because you are easily my favorite mistake
Some feelings go away.
These might be here to stay.
Hey baby, I don't want a "maybe"
I want it all or none
I know it ain't your fault if you don't want it all
But my heart ain't just for fun
Hey baby, I don't want a maybe
I want some honesty
And if you just tell me that I ain't what you need
Then we can both smile and leave.
I'll give you one last spark of emotion,
One more drop of blood on the page
You were the last thing tying me to this old life,
Now I'm gonna move far away
Because I've got a couple dreams I'm gonna chase
And I'm gonna meet somebody new
And we'll come to love each other's subtleties,
But every now and then, I know I'm gonna think of you
And I hope you think of me, too.
And I hope you find someone who loves you half as much as I do.
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Banquet Party Fort Collins, Colorado
we came here to drink beer & fuck shit up. & we've already had our beers.
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